Tuesday, November 28, 2017

The Second to Last Time I Commit Social Suicide: My Response to The Open Letter


My twitter this morning was flooded with players from across the community urging me to read this open letter : An Open Letter From Members Of The Professional Magic Scene To The Magic Community At Large. One tweet even read "please read, this is in important". My response? No, I won't.

...But Why?

Don't get me wrong- it's good people are finally taking a much needed stand on bullying and toxicity in the community. I think writing one open letter and showing a unified front is a way of saying we, the community, will not stand for this type of harassment. I am glad people are using their position of power or rather prominence to bring attention to an issue that has been plaguing the community for ages...but this brings me to my first point.

Why not sooner? Last year (or so) multiple females wrote about being harassed in the Magic community. I feel that was a pretty good time to take a stand. This issue (harassment of female Magic players) was just gaining traction. It was at the point before everything came to a head, but was just starting to come to light. It was the exact moment when we (the community) needed a group of high level, visible pros to say "Hey! This behavior is not okay". If I recall, there were some re/tweets here or there, but nothing like the open letter we see today. An opportunity to take a stance at the forefront and not slap together a reactionary post was missed. I find it very hard to clap my hands and applaud for the people who have known about the harassment for years, and using the ease of a high profile case to get behind the cause

I Don't Believe You

I know first hand just how prominent bullying and harassment is in the Magic community, so as a victim I agree this behavior is unacceptable. You would think I would be overjoyed to see such a uniform attack on toxicity in the community, but I'm not. I find this response well timed and veiled in hypocrisy. There are very few members of the Magic Community, including its pros, who have not been party to bullying or harassment. Especially if you consider being party to as sitting idle and watching others. For many of the signers here are my words to you- You want to make a stance now on bullying? Issue a public statement addressing past behaviors that were and still are unacceptable, say you will be better moving forward, and urge the rest of the community to follow suit.  Real change takes vulnerability. Real supports of the cause should admit to past wrong doing. I want to believe the signers have changed, they want to be better, and they are committed to being the change we need to see in the community, but it is difficult to believe when I'm not sure you can even see the wrongs in your past.**

But I Want To

If you want to lead the community to be better than LEAD. Writing/signing this letter is not enough. I do not believe things will be better, but I want to. As I said earlier, it is easy enough to jump on the bandwagon of this high profile case and lend your signature in a time when it will look good. Hold yourself to a high standard. Hold those around you to a high standard...including your friends. You see someone bullying someone else, or even more relevant, you overhear someone spreading gossip about someone else stop them. Show support to those who feel bullied or harassed by the community, and don't just do it behind close doors- LEAD. There are many social justice warriors when the timing is right, but very few who stick around after the fanfare has passed. Don't just be the person who signed their name to a document like signing a petition on change.org- Be who you say you are going to be.

Footnote/Aside

We all know I am guilty of both harassment and being harassed, gossiping, being a "mean girl" of Magic. I understand just because people are mean to you doesn't mean you should be mean to them (in theory still working on it in practice). I guess what I'm trying to say is- if you have ever felt personal victimized by Regina George, I'm sorry. I can be a better person, I can not attack people when I feel attacked, and I can learn to say things less brash. We should all take this as an opportunity to be better to one another.

**A Twitter follower of mine linked me to Gerry T's SCG article of a few weeks back. This is exactly the type of behavior and vulnerability I am talking about. A lot of my blog post is about people not doing enough. As a stark contrast, I'd like to applaud Gerry. Keep wearing your stains on the outside.

2 comments:

  1. I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s phones Text messages whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via email(worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) or Text/call : +12317945543

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you know you not ready for a relationship why get into one and still cheat and liar. I was dying inside for my cheating spouse, i had no prove, no one to run to. Everyone thought i was paranoid. until i was referred to a Private Investigator/hacker Mr James by a friend. I told him about my situation and He understood me well and helped me spy on her. He got me access remotely to her Gmail and Facebook account and linked all her WhatsApp and phone conversation to me directly to find out the truth.I saw all the evidence and i was heart Broken,I just want to openly say thank you to Mr James for helping me get evidence against her,i feel so hurt. If you need help please contact him Mr James via Gmail (Worldcyberhackers) or WhatsApp : +1(267)877-3020 , I hate cheaters.

    ReplyDelete