With everyone talking about petitions to have electors vote against their state's decision I decide to look up the facts/chances of that happening. Here are my take a ways and the article (which is great) I read:
(1.)
When a member of the Electoral College votes against what their state decides they are called a Faithless Elector- a fun fact I probably learned when I was about 13 and have long since forgotten. Now that we got the terminology out of the way let's dive into facts.
(2.)
Faithless Electors have never changed the outcome of the election. However, the most interesting case was in 1836 when all electors from Virginia abstained from voting, leaving neither candidate with the majority. In this case, the Senate votes for who should be president. Their abstaining meant little as Johnson was still elected,but the camaraderie
is admirable.
(3.)
As you may have noticed from point #2, abstaining or defecting as a group was much more common when the nation was still young. It seems singleton votes are more likely now.
(4.)
The singleton votes are more likely (in modern presidency) to go to 3rd party nominees. in 1968, George Wallace of the American Independence Party received a total of 46 electoral votes. The largest number of votes a third party member has ever received (second of course, is the famous Strom Thurmond receiving 3% of the popular vote and 39 electoral votes when the Democratic Party split into States Rights Party and refused to vote for Harry Truman.
If anything happened this election it would be both historic and monumental. As nothing happened in the 2000 election where Gore won the populist vote by a greater margin than Clinton won here (apx. 500,000 and 400,000 respectively). One could also say if singleton voters are most likely (#4), it seems impossible to make up a 50+ electoral vote deficit. I suspect nothing will happen here. I'm really not trying to make a political statement either. Just sharing some fun facts I stumbled onto while researching this petition. In actuality, I suggest reading the article I linked and letting me know what your takeaways are. Happy Friday everyone!
This morning I read an article by Mark Manson on my commute to work- "The Guide to Strong Boundaries". Excellent "15 minutes read". If you have 15 minutes before you read my blog post, you should go read his. After reading, I had two resounding questions/comments/concerns to ponder on my train ride.
Point one- I have no boundaries. Actually, none at all. I think it stems from a strong desire to be liked by other people and general low self-esteem. Now in the article, Mark explains that having no boundaries actually makes you less attractive. Really that should be obvious (have you ever seen a cute doormat?). I don't value myself or my self-worth, so I don't create boundaries. I'm scared if I create boundaries, I will lose people in my life. So, much like a Hungry Hungry Hippo I need to collect all the things, or rather all the people to feel good. If one person doesn't like me (even if I don't like them), I agonize over the why. In actuality, if I valued myself and what I brought to the table, I'd be able to say, "They don't like me? Fuck 'em. Their loss", but actually mean it.
By about this time, I'm having a super cathartic moment, and I'm ready to set up boundaries. Come on, Mark! I'm ready for a guide! Wait...what? You don't give me one?!? You just tell me I should set up boundaries, but don't tell me how? I have already said I have NOOOOOOO boundaries. I don't even have a starting point to springboard off of. There is nothing; just chaos (and certainly no boundaries). Well, shit. It looks like it's up to me to make my own guide. Here's what I came up with:
If I Say "No" The World Will Not End!
This might seem like an obvious statement, but I honestly live my life like a giant comet will collide with the Earth's surface if I put the "N" and the "O" together in one word. I complain and complain about feeling like people take advantage of me and using my emotions against me for their own gain. However, what do I do about it? Nothing.
You should be able to tell your friends no without worrying that they won't like you anymore. If people get mad at you or won't talk to you after you tell them no, they were probably shitty manipulators you didn't want in your life anyway. As a person, I want to make everyone happy and puts others' happiness ahead of mine. I can understand this concept, but acting on it seems near impossible. I'm terrified of telling someone no will make them not want to be part of my life anymore. Perhaps, it's because I think that's the only way I can get people to like me, or maybe it's because I think my friendships are so fragile "no" will be the last (and only) straw. Either way, I don't tell people no, but I should. Let me just say this one more time, so it might stick, I can tell people no. If they don't want to be my friend anymore because of it, they were never my friend, to begin with.
Do Things Out of Want Not Obligation
I oddly feel obligated to anyone I have ever made eye contact with. Your sister's boyfriend's best friend that you've never met before? Yup, obligated. The man in the mall kiosk trying to sell you essence oils? Yup. Him too! In fact, the number of nail kits, microwavable heating pads, and cellphone cases I have bought because someone made eye contact with me is absurd. I feel obligated to be nice and listen to the spiel, then I feel obligated to buy because I wasted their time (yes, it was their time I wasted X_X). This, however, is a corner case that does not affect my life often.
If anyone asks me a question, I feel obligated to answer. If I feel uncomfortable answering it or I don't really like/know the person and don't think it is their business, I answer the question anyway. Substitute favor (with a few minor corrections), and that sentence will hold true. The only reason I will not do something is if I have a real reason not to. I can't lie, I won't make up an excuse. It's like I'm cursed by a witch who makes me do everything in my power to make someone else happy. I HAVE to do something because someone asked me to. The truth is I don't have to do anything. Again, the chance this sticks with me because I said it once is extremely low, so let's do it one more time. The only person I am obligated to myself, and I should only do things I am comfortable doing and actually want to do.
It's a strange thing how at this point in my life I'm not sure what I do because I want to do it and what I do because I feel I have to. I can't differentiate the two. I genuinely like making other people happy. The problem is I will bend over backward for anyone and everyone who asks. It makes me going out of my way for the people I care about seem less special and possible to make them feel less special to me in the process. If I go out of my way for someone I deeply care about and making them happy brings me joy, I think it's still okay to do that. Where I get into trouble is when I go out of my way for someone whose happiness means very little to me, and I am miserable the whole time I am doing this favor. Again, I am not obligated to do everyone favors, but I can choose to do favors for the people I truly care about.
I think anything else that comes up can be tied into one of these two things. If I'm a good person, I can just be a good person, and I don't need to show the world how good of a person I am.
If you don't like me, fine, but I'm not going to go out of my way to make someone like me... at least not anymore (maybe, we can hope :D).
"Is your boyfriend the one who got you into Magic?"
At every GP or large event I play, I hear that question at least once throughout the day.
Two days ago, I played in a PPTQ and put up this status: Just walked into a new card shop alone for the first time ever. This is terrifying. I already have anxiety about meeting new people and now I'm surrounded by them. I may sit here looking tough like I don't wanna talk to anyone, but that a because I'm too scared to move. I see why I haven't gone to a card shop since I was in college now. After posting the status and subsequently posting about how much I hated being asked that question, I was told, "I don't know you but you have pretty girl syndrome." He then told me most of my problems in the Magic community stem from that. Now that I have calmed down and gathered my thoughts in a more collected manner, I get that he simply did not understand my qualms. So in a hopefully coherent manner, I will lay it out.
As a male member of the Magic community, it may be difficult to understand or relate to the plight female members undergo. What may be seen or witnessed at your local shop does not make it the rule for all shops. To that point, I would also like to say that if you have never seen a problem, perhaps it is because you are avoiding seeing one. Nonetheless, I don’t want to come off as bitter. The other day a wonderful blog was posted by a fellow Ohio female Magic player (Go Buckeyes!), about how hard it is once you've dated a Magic player to be labeled as anything other than a Magic player's girlfriend/potential girlfriend/ex girlfriend etc. Basically, you can be whatever you want to be, as long as girlfriend is still in the title. At both local and competitive levels, I have dated my fair share of Magic players, but I’m not just “their girlfriend”. I feel by dating these locally or altogether well-known Magic players I lost my identity.
I sit down across from an unknown opponent, but before we can even talk, play, or shuffle I am told I look familiar. Before I started dating Tom, when I was dating AJ Sacher. It was my first time experiencing this. I would excitedly list the GP's I'd gone to recently (really ever at that time) or offer that I used to stream so perhaps they'd watched it. Usually at the word stream, a light bulb would go off and they would say, "Oh, you're AJ's girlfriend." My excitement vanished as that's all I became. For a while after AJ and I broke up, it would still happen. I would still get excited and hope they saw me playing in a GP, but it was never that.
Tom Martell is even more well known. Hell, he even has a Wikipedia page (see link). When I sit across from an opponent and they say they recognize me, I no longer bother listing other possible places they may know me from. I'm Tom Martell's girlfriend, and at a tournament, I cease to be anything else. I just want to be me, and I feel like ever since I started going to big events, I've been associated with one male Magic player or another. That isn't my story.
To answer your question: NO, my boyfriend did not get me into Magic.
SIDE RANT: Why does it have to be a boyfriend/ex boyfriend who gets a girl into Magic? Can't she find the game on her own and enjoy playing? Why is there this male association with her being in the community? Wouldn't the better question be how did you start playing? Isn't that what you would ask any male player you sat across from? Why am I any different?!?
So back to the question… I have an older brother who I was very close to growing up because we are 17 months apart. I guess you could say I was a tomboy. I played video games and hung out with the boys, which lead to my love of Pokemon. After a few years of playing the Gameboy game and watching the TV show, the trading card game came out. I wasn't just going to collect the cards and trade them... It was a game, and I was ready to learn how to play. When I was in 4th grade, my mom would shuttle us to our not-so-local card shop every Saturday to play matches in the hopes of earning gym badges. While we were playing Pokemon, the older kids were playing Magic. In 6th grade, I was walking to school and saw some Magic cards from Apocalypse and Mirage (actual card I found) on the ground and quickly swooped them up. My brother and I quickly set out to learn how to play. He was decent and did well in some local tournaments while I was beyond casual. My deck was the definition of kitchen table Magic. It was at least 100 cards: mono white angels with every Circle of Protection ever printed in the sideboard and a Golden Wish to get them. I was very bad, but I had a lot of fun.
Just before high school, I quit Magic. Almost a decade later, when I was in college, a friend of mine texted me, "busy this Friday. Have a Magic tournament to play in...if you know what that is". Boy, did I ever! My ears perked up, and I insisted he take me with him. I've been playing again ever since.
The joy I got from going to the card shop with him has since vanished, as going has now turned into more of a chore than an enjoyment. I play Magic to have fun, compete, feel connected to a community... but it's hard to feel any of those things when I feel lost in the definitions others have created for me. I no longer mention tournaments I’ve been to recently; I just say who I’m dating. I don’t define myself.
I'm not a girl who plays Magic or a girlfriend of a Magic player. I am a Magic player. I hope one day to feel that is not just how I see myself, but how everyone else does too.
